Sacrifice (sac.ri.fice; noun) - the act of giving up something that you want to keep especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone.
Something I have always struggled with is giving more than I
am given, but looking at it all ass backwards. Growing up in a society where
everything you do needs a post followed by a lot of likes in order to hold
value to you really messes with your self-confidence. I am so guilty of this toxic
feeling. Not that you shouldn’t post pictures, videos and status, you just
shouldn’t let them control your happiness. I take pictures of everything;
everywhere I go for the memories so I can look back and relive them all over
again. It’s a habit of mine that I never want to get over because people in
pictures can change while the memories remain the same. My problem isn’t the
pictures I take, it’s getting so wrapped up in the idea of how people will
react to the post that follows the memory I forget to enjoy it in that moment.
I love bragging, and sharing all these amazing moments I have that if the other
doesn’t post about it in the way that I do I feel like my presence wasn’t worth
the attention to them. How shaded can I get?! Validation for my
relationship shouldn’t be competitive, I shouldn’t be looking for clarity
through a social media post and if that’s what I’m basing my relationship off
from maybe I’m not ready to be in one.
Everybody knows that 50+50=100 but relationships aren’t a
math equation; both sides should be giving 100% at all time regardless of how
different each ones “all in” is. I read a quote once that went like this,
“I gave you $10, he gave you $20. You felt that he was better just because he gave you more, but he had $200, and all I had was $10.”
That’s when it hit me, not everybody loves the same way you do and if they don’t you worry it’s not there. Just because someone isn’t posting about you on their social media accounts every time you’re together doesn’t mean they didn’t enjoy your company. If you buy your significant other a really expensive gift and they don’t buy one at equal value it doesn’t mean they don’t love you as much. There’s always going to be days here and there where you’re going to feel like you’re doing more than the other but that doesn’t mean you should stop what you’re doing in order to make it more “fair”. What matters most is how you treat each other when social media and other outside factors aren’t involved.
“I gave you $10, he gave you $20. You felt that he was better just because he gave you more, but he had $200, and all I had was $10.”
That’s when it hit me, not everybody loves the same way you do and if they don’t you worry it’s not there. Just because someone isn’t posting about you on their social media accounts every time you’re together doesn’t mean they didn’t enjoy your company. If you buy your significant other a really expensive gift and they don’t buy one at equal value it doesn’t mean they don’t love you as much. There’s always going to be days here and there where you’re going to feel like you’re doing more than the other but that doesn’t mean you should stop what you’re doing in order to make it more “fair”. What matters most is how you treat each other when social media and other outside factors aren’t involved.
If seeing the one you love makes your heart race a little
faster, your smile a little brighter, and your stomach sore the next day from
all the laughs you’ve share you’re already more fortunate than a lot of other
people. Just because you’re not that week’s #MCM or #WCW doesn’t mean they’re
not crushing on you every other day of the week. Just because things look
peachy keen on social media doesn’t mean it’s filled with love behind closed
doors and just because things aren’t posted all over for everyone else to see doesn’t
mean there isn’t love outside of social media platforms. A successful and happy
relationship is about someone who fights for what’s real when things get tough,
it’s about someone who pushes you to be a better person than you are today and
wants to help you reach your goals. A relationship is between two people, not
you and how the world reacts to how you look to them.
When you’ve been fortunate enough as I have to find someone
that fills your heart without the constant, daily post and makes you realize
the difference in value of their presence versus presents…you will find
yourself realizing how little the thought of others bothers you. Give each
other compassion, commitment, laughs, lots of kisses, cuddles, criticism when
needed, a helping hand, support, memories and love. You will have a
relationship far more valuable than a picture with hundreds of likes.
until next time.
xo
